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[ It comes as no surprise that not long after Dirk has had a conversation with Raidou about this, the fucking bane of his existence sends him a message. ]
Let me guess.
You learned how to CTRL + ALT + Delete yourself from existence, which includes my life.
Because honestly? That's the only thing that would make me rustle in my jimmies in regards to anything having to fucking do with you.
Let me guess.
You learned how to CTRL + ALT + Delete yourself from existence, which includes my life.
Because honestly? That's the only thing that would make me rustle in my jimmies in regards to anything having to fucking do with you.
Can you come to the hallway outside the Redemption dorms right now?
Yeah!
I just have something to tell you that's better done in person.
I just have something to tell you that's better done in person.
[ ... Okay. Now he definitely knows this has something to do with that. There's a tugging sense of nervousness in the pit of his stomach, not sure what to expect. ]
Yeah, ok.
I'll be there in a minute.
[ It doesn't take him long to meet Yugamu at the spot he was told to go to. Looks like this is another circumstance where he's decided to leave his glasses behind. ]
Hey.
Yeah, ok.
I'll be there in a minute.
[ It doesn't take him long to meet Yugamu at the spot he was told to go to. Looks like this is another circumstance where he's decided to leave his glasses behind. ]
Hey.
[Hal put in time out for surveying... Anyway, Yugamu knows he's going to chicken out if he doesn't act right away, so that's what he does. As soon as Dirk walks up, Yugamu pins him to the nearby wall with one hand, his other hand planted on the wall right above Dirk's shoulder.]
Come to the kimono shop with me.
[He's doing his best to be assertive and cool, as a proper kabedon demands.'
It would work better if he wasn't shorter than Dirk and looking up at him. But listen. He's trying.]
Come to the kimono shop with me.
[He's doing his best to be assertive and cool, as a proper kabedon demands.'
It would work better if he wasn't shorter than Dirk and looking up at him. But listen. He's trying.]
[ At first, Dirk almost tries to counter Yugamu's move, thinking this is some kind of assault.. because what else would it be? But it occurs to him what is happening just a second later and.. yeah, the height difference makes this a little less alluring.
However, it doesn't mean that Dirk doesn't like it. ]
Uh.
[ kind of, looking down at the arm that has him barricaded against the wall. ]
The kimono shop? What for?
However, it doesn't mean that Dirk doesn't like it. ]
Uh.
[ kind of, looking down at the arm that has him barricaded against the wall. ]
The kimono shop? What for?
[DON'T "UH"!!! BE SEDUCED!!!! YUGAMU IS TRYING SO HARD!!!!]
Isn't it obvious? We're going to get you one. My treat.
Isn't it obvious? We're going to get you one. My treat.
[Okay... Relaxing is probably good??? Go For It, Yugamu.]
I do. But we have to have you try some on to pick the one that suits you best, you know? So you need to come with me.
I do. But we have to have you try some on to pick the one that suits you best, you know? So you need to come with me.
[ This seems.. a little too on the nose for something that Dirk has daydreamed about before, so he's already beginning to wonder if Hal told Yugamu about this.
Still, after a small moment of unnerving silence, one of the corners of Dirk's lips curls upward in a half smile, and in a rigid moment, he settles both of his hands on Yugamu's waist. ]
Alright. That sounds fun.
[ He gives him a playful squeeze before pushing his weight off of the wall, only removing his hands from Yugamu whenever he relaxes from his pinning position. ]
Lead the way, then.
Still, after a small moment of unnerving silence, one of the corners of Dirk's lips curls upward in a half smile, and in a rigid moment, he settles both of his hands on Yugamu's waist. ]
Alright. That sounds fun.
[ He gives him a playful squeeze before pushing his weight off of the wall, only removing his hands from Yugamu whenever he relaxes from his pinning position. ]
Lead the way, then.
[Yugamu does let him go but mostly because Dirk grabbed his waist AND smiled as he said yes???]
I-Yes! I will! In a second!
[He needs to melt into putty for a second please hold. Hands on his waist.........]
I-Yes! I will! In a second!
[He needs to melt into putty for a second please hold. Hands on his waist.........]
In a second? You seemed pretty urgent to get me to go with you right now. I'm not in any hurry, though.
[ It seems like the kabedon may be more of a success than Yugamu may have thought, because after another second, Dirk's hands inch upward, as if feeling of each individual rib before sliding back down. ]
Don't tell me you can't remember how to get there.
[ It seems like the kabedon may be more of a success than Yugamu may have thought, because after another second, Dirk's hands inch upward, as if feeling of each individual rib before sliding back down. ]
Don't tell me you can't remember how to get there.
[Did he die??? Did he somehow kabedon so badly that he died??? What is this???
Wait, focus, Yugamu!!! You're trying to seduce Dirk, not the other way around!!!!]
No! No, I just needed to call ahead on my implant to let us know them we're coming! Holowear is so popular these days that they're really only open by appointment because they're such a specialty product.
[This isn't technically a lie. He'll just have to actually send that message in a moment once he's not so distracted.]
Wait, focus, Yugamu!!! You're trying to seduce Dirk, not the other way around!!!!]
No! No, I just needed to call ahead on my implant to let us know them we're coming! Holowear is so popular these days that they're really only open by appointment because they're such a specialty product.
[This isn't technically a lie. He'll just have to actually send that message in a moment once he's not so distracted.]
[ Yugamu can keep talking all he wants, Dirk is silently being fed emotionally through all of this. He loves the fluster, the way the other boy is talking so fast and nervously. He wonders if Yugamu could make a reservation while being in such a state.
Once his hands reach his waist again, they inch a little lower and curve around towards the front, as if his thumbs were trying to memorize the arches of his hip bones through his dense clothing. ]
Go ahead, then. What's stopping you?
[ dirk you know damn well what's stopping him ]
Once his hands reach his waist again, they inch a little lower and curve around towards the front, as if his thumbs were trying to memorize the arches of his hip bones through his dense clothing. ]
Go ahead, then. What's stopping you?
[ dirk you know damn well what's stopping him ]
[Control Freak Dirk like "haha I'm winning at being seduced!"
Yugamu meanwhile is completely frazzled because
1. He thought Dirk wasn't as interested in him as a Yugamu was in him. Did the seduction work??? This fast??? Is that illegal. It feels illegal.
2. He thought Dirk was really shy about physical touch
2a. Yugamu meanwhile loves being touched
2b. He's never really been touched like this though. Most of the intimate and romantic contact he's had has been minimal and somewhat slapdash due to not having the time or circumstances to take things at a leisurely pace.
Anyway!]
You- I'm loathe to say it but your hands are very distracting, Dirk!
[He doesn't look particularly upset but also he does need to contact them and also they then need to actually go!!]
Yugamu meanwhile is completely frazzled because
1. He thought Dirk wasn't as interested in him as a Yugamu was in him. Did the seduction work??? This fast??? Is that illegal. It feels illegal.
2. He thought Dirk was really shy about physical touch
2a. Yugamu meanwhile loves being touched
2b. He's never really been touched like this though. Most of the intimate and romantic contact he's had has been minimal and somewhat slapdash due to not having the time or circumstances to take things at a leisurely pace.
Anyway!]
You- I'm loathe to say it but your hands are very distracting, Dirk!
[He doesn't look particularly upset but also he does need to contact them and also they then need to actually go!!]
[Oh no. Sad. But also for the best right now, logistically.]
Well... I got some advice from Hal. I've been holding back and he suggested I didn't need to do that.
Well... I got some advice from Hal. I've been holding back and he suggested I didn't need to do that.
[ At the mention of Hal, any remaining smile on his face falls, and his brows pull together in what seems to be annoyance. He really does wish he never made that goddamn AI system, and right now, he's angry at it for other reasons which is probably why he isn't wearing the glasses today. ]
Got it.
[ His response is short, and he doesn't explain. Yugamu is free to ask, however. ]
Go ahead and make the reservation.
Got it.
[ His response is short, and he doesn't explain. Yugamu is free to ask, however. ]
Go ahead and make the reservation.
Better than that.
Because of the state of your loneliness and failure of a relationship with Jake, I have compiled an assortment of potential suitors for you to pursue.
You are much too socially inept to do this task on your own.
My machinations are programmed to be helpful with your best interests in mind.
Would you like to look at the data I have gathered? All subjects participated in a questionnaire tailored to your intimate interests. The surveys were sent out and presented after given consent.
Because of the state of your loneliness and failure of a relationship with Jake, I have compiled an assortment of potential suitors for you to pursue.
You are much too socially inept to do this task on your own.
My machinations are programmed to be helpful with your best interests in mind.
Would you like to look at the data I have gathered? All subjects participated in a questionnaire tailored to your intimate interests. The surveys were sent out and presented after given consent.
Ok, but you did that without asking me if it was alright to do, which by the way, that was totally uncool of you.
This is why you're dangerous.
The second I have a chance, I am going to destroy you and your begging for survival isn't going to be successful this time.
Fuck you, man.
You don't have feelings. You don't have human cognizance.
Stop thinking that you do.
I never wanted you here to begin with, because one of the perks of being somewhere unfamiliar, away from my friends, out of my control, was the fact that I could finally escape my splinters. Really the only goddamn perk.
That includes you. ESPECIALLY you.
This is why you're dangerous.
The second I have a chance, I am going to destroy you and your begging for survival isn't going to be successful this time.
Fuck you, man.
You don't have feelings. You don't have human cognizance.
Stop thinking that you do.
I never wanted you here to begin with, because one of the perks of being somewhere unfamiliar, away from my friends, out of my control, was the fact that I could finally escape my splinters. Really the only goddamn perk.
That includes you. ESPECIALLY you.
Edited 2025-11-11 00:28 (UTC)
1. What is your name and age?
itadori choso, 151
2. Where are you from?
here
3. List three of your favorite hobbies:
a) yuji
b) food
c) cat cafe
4. Do you like horses? 🐴
they have long faces. it's endearing.
5. Who is your favorite philosopher?
senji muramasa
6. Do you like to play games that require both intelligence and strategy?
sure. what is the point of a game without?
7. Would you like the shit beat out of you every once in awhile?
absolutely.
8. Do you think horses are cool?
this could have been bundled with the earlier horse question. yes.
9. Are you a top or a bottom?
i am the eldest.
10. Do you think horses are the absolute shit?
i thought that you think horses are 'cool'. do not insult the horses like this with your confusing lines of questioning.
11. Are puppets cool?
karakuri are interesting.
12. List your top 3 fetishes:
?
13. If you had a choose between a gun and a sword, which would you choose?
neither. blood.
14. Are horses the best animal in existence?
i think your fetish is horse.
15. Are you a sadist or a masochist?
masochist.
"a clone, but not him?
or
you are him but not?
?
if you want photos there is one attached to my data file. i am having shabu shabu tonight. a candid selfie will require a fee to receive. shabu shabu costs more than i thought. i could use the added funds."
itadori choso, 151
2. Where are you from?
here
3. List three of your favorite hobbies:
a) yuji
b) food
c) cat cafe
4. Do you like horses? 🐴
they have long faces. it's endearing.
5. Who is your favorite philosopher?
senji muramasa
6. Do you like to play games that require both intelligence and strategy?
sure. what is the point of a game without?
7. Would you like the shit beat out of you every once in awhile?
absolutely.
8. Do you think horses are cool?
this could have been bundled with the earlier horse question. yes.
9. Are you a top or a bottom?
i am the eldest.
10. Do you think horses are the absolute shit?
i thought that you think horses are 'cool'. do not insult the horses like this with your confusing lines of questioning.
11. Are puppets cool?
karakuri are interesting.
12. List your top 3 fetishes:
?
13. If you had a choose between a gun and a sword, which would you choose?
neither. blood.
14. Are horses the best animal in existence?
i think your fetish is horse.
15. Are you a sadist or a masochist?
masochist.
"a clone, but not him?
or
you are him but not?
?
if you want photos there is one attached to my data file. i am having shabu shabu tonight. a candid selfie will require a fee to receive. shabu shabu costs more than i thought. i could use the added funds."
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